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Team Waterlilie's S.O.S. by ~85396:icon85396:



In what seemed to be a basement was Carmela the nidorina tied and gagged with tape. "I can't believe what I got myself into, and I can't believe I got them involved too" for she wasn’t alone. With her were her young teammates Lilia the chikorita and Daniel the mudkip, who also were bound and gagged with carmela. Daniel was in the corner (ironically) flopping wildly like a fish out of water while Lilia was sobbing on carmela's shoulder. As she was trying to comfort lilia she thought about what had gone so wrong on there last rescue, as they walked through the forest carmela remember that all of a sudden they were attacked by a vary large machamp that instantly O.K. Daniel with a focus punch and then like lightning froze lilia with an ice punch. Carmela tried her best to fight back but the last thing she remembered was a fist landing a dead on hit to her face, and after about what seemed to be an hour she finally awoke to see herself and her friends tied up is some strange place. But before their captor defeated carmela she managed to send an S.O.S. out to town. Now only time will tell of their fate.
©2008-2009 ~85396
:icon85396:

Author's Comments

I dont own ANY of these characters, and this is my first fan fic. I might continue it and I might not, unless someone wants me to.

Edit: alright my spelling and grammer sucks, I know so don't bite my head off. hope this is a little better, and for thouse who havent got it yet this is a pokemon fan fic.

Comments


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:iconechoes-of-the-dead:
please, PLEASE stick this into Word and spellcheck it
:icontorr-ture:
Worst grammar EVER.

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"That is because the English language is my BITCH, and I bend it to my wishes accordingly..." -T
:icon85396:
I fixed it, you can stop crying now.
:icon85396:
Are you my english teacher? Its my FIRST fan fic OK, I'm sure I'll improve.
:icontorr-ture:
I'd seriously contemplate taking this to an English teacher. That isn't me being an asshole. I'm just saying that the tone is right, but the delivery is off. Way off. If you'd like some pointers, I'd either suggest seriously going to an academic or a dA chatroom. #

--
"That is because the English language is my BITCH, and I bend it to my wishes accordingly..." -T
:icontorr-ture:
Sorry, didn't mean to hit the damn button yet. Anyhow, #underlit is very good for constructive critique, and I think they could help you out a lot. So long as you are open-minded. Also, it helps to put what this is a Fan Fic OF.

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"That is because the English language is my BITCH, and I bend it to my wishes accordingly..." -T
:iconumbreonnlatias:
Can u do a pic of this!

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O HAI
:icon85396:
um... well I can't draw worth shit, but if you tell me what exactly you want to see I'll give it a try.

Details

April 2, 2008
1.2 KB

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